Being a Wife, Mother, Employee, and Student

Cris CouchAs a wife, mother, employee, and student at The Art Institute Online, life can be very difficult. I have found many ways in the past year, to make my life a little simpler. I am a mother of three beautiful little girls. My oldest is seven (she’s my cuddlebug), my middle girl is four (she’s my desibug), and my youngest is one (my monkey). My husband is a wonderful man who contributes by doing laundry, dishes, and staying home so I can work late. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

I work full time at a local newspaper. There, I am the composition manager and carry many responsibilities. It calls for long hours and some working at home. I am also a part time student at AIO. I carry a 4.0 and work very hard to keep it that way. I also do some freelance on the side.

Many times in person and in class, I have been asked how I do it all. My girls are happy and healthy; I have a job I am great at, and a wonderful marriage. The answer is simple; buy a date book. I schedule everything and write everything down. I have to or I will loose track of everything. I have four simple rules that maintain balance in my life and my family’s:

  1. No work until the kids go to bed at 8PM.
  2. No school until the kids go to bed at 8PM.
  3. Spend one full day with your spouse every week. (Date Night)
  4. No missing school events or sport events with the kids.

Those are my very simple guidelines. Without them my life would be a mess and everyone in it would be miserable. It is all based on my priorities. My family always comes first. My education comes second. My work comes last.
I am going constantly and I have times when I just can’t go anymore. Then I put myself first. I take a day off and go for a drive, sleep in, or go out with friends. Even if it is just for an hour, we all need time for ourselves. It just isn’t healthy not to. I focus on my family and work during the week and work on schoolwork and work all weekend. I have become the time management queen! Life sounds hectic but I am still one of the calmest and laid back people you may ever meet. I have yet to find much that will upset me or stress me out because I know things always find a way to work out. I have always felt there is a solution to everything and won’t quit until I find one.

Another important key is to stay healthy. I work out and eat right. I admit, I am a smoker but for some reason my body balances itself out (for now anyway). Staying healthy helps maintain a healthy mental state. I also try to think positive at all times. I like to keep everyone around me enthusiastic and happy. I love people and am very happy surrounded by my family, friends, and co-workers. All of these simple things get me through each and every day. Sometimes it is hard but I just stay strong and keep my priorities straight.

11 Responses to “Being a Wife, Mother, Employee, and Student”

  • hello,
    i would like to know in details how a married student mother could cope with his school and that of the home.want to know the problems they face.

  • I now know that I can finish my goals with one child

  • This seems so hard Crys, i am your age getting married in December, going to school in january & have a 7year son. My fiancee is so supportive but am just usecured with it. i JUST FEEL HE MIGHT GET TIRED OF nursing the situation.

  • It seems so easy as I have read your article:however, my situation is a little different. I am married with 4 children, I work full time, and go to school. My husband does not help out at all. I get over whelmed every time I began to start a schedule, everything must get done. Childrens’ homework, mines. House cleaning, cooking, laundry. I feel like at times I will have a break down. I have neglected my self completly, and have become overweight. I wipe the tears from my face and keep moving. Any suggestions?

  • Crystal,

    I admire your hard work. As a mother, wife, teacher and Grad student, I know how hard it is to balance everything. It’s crazy but worth it in the end. Keep up the good work.


  • @Tired Mom

    You need to ask your husband about helping out more. Tell him all the things to do and how you fustrated you feel at times. Maybe start off by asking him to contribute to one thing around the house (washing dishes) and one thing with the children (bed time).

  • hye,i’m impressed with u..i am a mother,and now pregnant,i’m 23 years old,full time student..i live alone with my daughter,because my husband work at another really hard for me to cope with this,i’m dealing with it without anyone help..ur article helped me a bit..cause sometimes,i rush doing my assignment and feel like neglected my daughter..even me,myself,eventhought i’m pregnant,i could not manage my own health..really need suppport..

  • I am 23 with a 2,3, and 4 year old, ive been married for years and now I start surgical technology classes the 18th I am so nervous about handling all of this my husband helps when he can but he has to work to support all of us. Any advice on how to keep all of this together

  • im a mother but at the same time student..i want to look a little help for those people ho king hearted and help ful to support my study…im grduating student but i cant graduate because i have no enough money…please elp me……

  • Hi everyone! I feel your pain, although it is so nice to see that I am not the only one feeling this way (as I often do). I am 24 year old mother of 2, wife, student, and employee. Oh yeah and how could I leave out room mom, as if I needed to tackle one more responsibility. My life is crazy. I honestly feel like I am going to have a nervous break down. I do my best to stay positive, but everything always seems to come crashing down on me sooner or later. My husband works full time at a demanding job. I work part time, take care of our two year old son and three year old daughter, go to school part time/full time (which ever I think I can handle each semester) online. Taking classes have been a challenge for me because I am constantly trying to get work done at home and I feel llke I am neglecting the kids and easily become frustrated. Also I am responsible for what feels like everything in the house, cleaning, laundry (endless), cooking. UGH! i am exhausted. Its horrible I feel like I am setting myself up for failure everyday because it is impossible for me to get everything done. Not to mention that I try and try to work on losing weight because I have not been happy with the way I look since i became pregnant with my first child. I’ve tried everything, but it always seems to come back to not having enough time and something else starts to slack. I don’t know what to do and feel that my husband is not happy. I have never been good at time management so that may be the route of my problem here. I don’t know what to try next. I fear that if I cant figure this out I may put off going to school until my children get older and that is the last thing I want for myself, but isnt that a mother’s job?

  • I am new to the whole working, school full time, and full time mom of two little ones. I have realized that time management is essential and yes receiving help from loved ones is a blessing. If you find that your husband is not helpful in general or values your effort as a wife than it is time to sit with him and reevaluate your relationship. I agree with the article family always comes first. At the end of the day your kids are going to value more your guidance as a parent than the size of your wallet or bank account. Relationships with your significant other should be full of communication and equal understanding of your goals. I believe that if the husband is the breadwinner at the moment. Providing all material necessities he is probably feeling pressure as well; he wants balance too, as us mothers want it and should understand if he cant help as much around the house or with the kids.Mothers should also find balance evaluate if what you are going to school makes you happy than you will find the motivation to finish school. Observe your kids their health and happiness is essential as well. I always see it like this “it is not my kids fault I did not at one time set my priorities or fulfilled my goals when I had the time”. That makes me want to tend to their needs when they are around me and check my self if I get frustrated. They grow quick when we least expect it they are going to be teenagers or adults with their own lives and concerns. We do need to work and support our families but we need to find a Job that makes us happy. Feel that we can have good relationships with our managers and coworkers. No Job is perfect not even our dream jobs; however, if we are not giving our best and managing our selves as professionals than it is time to also evaluate. May be that part time or full time job is not the best for us. If they cant work with our schedule or make us feel guilty for calling out due to attending REAL FAMILY EMERGENCIES OUT OF OUR HAND. Then we are wasting their time as well as they are wasting our time. Our happiness and success in time management, family and school and all other goals we have in mind will be tied to how much we want to persevere no matter what obstacle we encounter. No one knows your true situation or your priorities as much as you, your self knows. Even if it is part-time and we like what we do than we will have motivation to work harder and give our current employer our 100% even if we have a million things on our head. At home we will treat our husbands and our kids with respect because we will be in good mood. This does not happen all the time but we have to try it is no ones fault if we have to encounter people with bad, negative attitudes that affect us. IF we feel frustrated with school may be we are just studying something that in the moment is too complicated for us. Lets just find something that is according to our situation in life. Us humans at the long run want to be realistic with our goals and we cant think of fulfilling our dreams of a 17 year old straight out of HS. we have families to support now and kids to raise. It does get tiresome if you feel your pulling all the weight around the house plus trying to develop yourself as a professional. IF our hearts is set on finishing school than if your significant other can support you with your kids and just concentrate on school than help around the house by lowering your cost of living and adjusting your budget. The reality is that you will need to be the one probably dealing with almost all of the house hold things. Remember that if you are happy than kids and hubby will be happy and everyone will cooperate because they will see point in being part of a family. Stress needs to be managed… If it is not within your possibilities to stay at home and you need to work than take time off of school or go PTS. Always see that your significant other is putting his 100% at family and work as well that it is not just an excuse to just not be involved. Cuase than that is a total different monster to tackle.

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